Month: February 2013

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9 Characteristics of Leadership Inner Qualities

A twenty five year old sales-marketing professional has everything going for him.  Matthew has earned top sales within his team, been awarded the employee of the year, and received a recent bonus to boot!  He also had been promised a job promotion within the next six month.  Before that could happen, Matthew was told by the executive team to present a new sale concept to the company’s Board of Directors.  From the executive team’s stand-point, the sales concept will increase the overall business profits and they are advising Matthew to promote the initiative.

Matthew’s inner being is starting to trouble him.  The sales concept offered by the executives fall short of his own confidence in taking the company to a higher level.  He’s challenged by wanting to share his own sales qualities versus having doubts in his own executive team’s concept.  Does Matthew have the courage to tell the executive team the concept lacks potential, or does he go along with this lackluster sale opportunity and pray the Board will buy into it?

We’ve all had this unsettling feeling in our everyday lives.  We tend to stay close to our own strong convictions of inner qualities versus other foreign qualities formed by others.  Other uneasy examples come in various forms:

  • A love-struck teenage girl has strong heart-felt feelings of a new boyfriend while everyone else thinks the ‘boyfriend’ is a jerk!
  • An elderly father who believes he can still drive while family members cringe with agony of their father’s stubbornness to give up his driving privileges.
  • A son who recently graduated from high-school and now has a desire to go to a community college while his parents want him to enroll into an Ivy League institution.

When you’re standing on one side with your own inner qualities and everyone else is firmly on the other side, it feels lonely.  Yet those inner qualities you chose in life really matters to you.

Self-Improvement Expert Author Connor R. Sullivan wrote the 2008 article “Four Traits of a Person Who Wants to Develop Inner Qualities as Well as Physical Attractiveness” says this – “A person who has developed inner qualities has the benefit of being greatly self-assured because he or she has chosen their priorities.  It is so freeing to be able to act on principle and have the knowledge that you are living according to your chosen value system.  It is called being ‘true to yourself’ and that knowledge carries over into every area of everyday life and influences every relationship a person has.”

I further challenge the idea by asking you the question: Beyond the ‘self-assuredness’ of your own inner qualities, are these qualities adding value to those around you?  Are you translating those qualities into others that should:

  • spark a form of passion and excitement in their life?
  • grow a stronger positive culture around you?
  • develop a pursuit of purity?
  • tailor your conversations to influence those around you?
  • establish an excellent work ethic at your job?
  • allow your friends/neighbors to become more involved in church?
  • build a long-lasting marriage?
  • foster a true-connection with your children?
  • make a better home for your family?

What kind of inner qualities you think are useful to God?  Christian Author Jim George in his book entitled “A Man After God’s own Heart” provides several qualities:

1)      Not given to drunkenness – Godliness and drunkenness are not compatible.

2)      Not violent (meekness) – this is the quality of keeping yourself under control

3)      Not quarrelsome – a Godly person will not participate in arguments.  Rather, the person’s conversation is always full of grace (Colossians 4:5)

4)      Not a lover of money – a Godly person is not pre-occupied with amassing material possessions or becoming ‘greedy’ with money

5)      Not overbearing – we should be humbled servants at all times

6)      Not quick-tempered – we avoid having a ‘short-fuse’ attitude

7)      Not pursing dishonest gain – a Godly person is careful not to get involved in anything that might appear to be dishonest or illegal

8)      Just – we are to do right and fair; a person of integrity

9)      Loving what is good – a Godly person has a passion for what is good and wholesome, whether in the books and magazine one reads, the movies and TV shows one watches, or the friendships and hobbies one cultivates

When evaluating my inner qualities, I find a comfortable downtime of space toward the last week of every December.  Normally I reflect on what has transpired over the year and ask God to show me ways to improve as I prepare for the new year.

The evaluation of your inner qualities may happen more often than mine.  Whatever the case, it’s always helpful to examine your inner qualities.  This examination process will allow you to become more passionate and purposeful to the things God has in store for you.

Let’s go people and do some good!

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Embracing Your Life Purpose

Be honest with yourself…no one is watching while you read this.  Do you find it challenging to cultivate your life’s purpose?  Did you doubt yourself the moment you discovered your newly found purpose?  Do you get frustrated when everyone around you is acting out on their life’s purpose and you’re still making attempts to fine-tune yours?

No worries…your purpose in life is already here or just on the horizon; just learn to embrace it!

As a business strategist/therapist, I gleefully hear the enthusiasm of an individual’s new business concept and shortly within the same conversation; they become unenthused when their ideas are faced with perceived obstacles.  Most often, people will point to the main obstacle – that is of course “money.”  But the real obstacle could be the person with the purposeful idea!

Imagine yourself driving pass a large cemetery and viewing the beautiful manicured gravesites, properly spaced tombstones adorned with vibrant flowers and statuette mausoleums.  I’m sure the many buried folks out there had a purpose to produce wonderful inventions or could’ve made a difference in the lives of many.  Problem is most took their unspent purposed driven ideas with them!  You on-the-other-hand have the ability to start today!

Everyday, new business ideas or concepts are meant to produce a response from others (another name for others is ‘consumers’).  Infomercials are prime examples of promoting new ideas.  As weird as those products may look on TV, people will buy into that idea!  From exercise workout videos, to kitchen equipment, and/or faux jewelry, it’s all about trying to make people feel good or satisfied.

While profitable institutions attempt to pitch their idea [product] to anyone who’ll listen, goodwill organizations will pitch their idea [purpose] to build a movement.  The strategy is simple, embrace what you believe in, know what you’re destined to do [your purpose] and put it out there.  You may not have the courage to broadcast your purpose in life to the whole wide-world, but it may be enough to impact your environment or community.

In the best seller book, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, he writes “God has given you a Life Message to share.  Your Life Message includes sharing your Godly passions.  It maybe a passion about a problem, a purpose, a principle, or a group of people.”

Think about the positive impact you’ll deliver to the hundreds, thousands, or millions if you take the risk to embrace your purpose and share it.  Now think about that sizable impact on others if you decide not to embrace your purpose….any questions?

Are you now ready to Embrace your Purpose?  Wonderful! Let’s go people and do some good!

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21st Century Brutal Whipping – Where are we?

As we proudly honor the fine achievements in the African-American community and currently celebrate Black History Month, I can’t help but wonder if our attention is too focused on the ‘greatness’ of the people, rather than helping the plight of other people?  I wonder about the people who came before us and fought hard for civil liberties and equality.  Like many of you, I’ve watched the BET Honors last week as well as the historic Presidential inauguration last month. I’ve also read many of your “Scandal” TV commentaries on Facebook – a praising chatter about the most celebrated prime-time show featuring an African-American woman who is the central/leading character of the drama series.

The question poised in the last paragraph can be related to the very first question by God to Man written in the Book of Genesis. “God called to the Man: ‘Where are you?” (Msg. 3:9).  This week, mainstream media showcased a disturbing YouTube video that was watched by some forty-thousand viewers showing a young Newark, NJ African-American teen being forced to stripped naked by several ‘thugs’ then mercifully being whipped for nearly one minute – all because of $20 (If you care to watch it, go to www.liveleak.com and type in their search engine “Newark Teen” – it is for mature audience only).  Call it flogging, whipping, or whatever – the senseless act sheds light on where we are.  We seem to overcast these stories and say how sad, yet little is done.  We sadly watched an innocent young girl’s funeral in Chicago last week – shot down in the cross-fires of a gang shooting – yet little is done.  We watched in horror last year of a surveillance video (of nine full minutes) showing a 9-year old child brutally beating two infants in a day care center in Mississippi; only steps away a day care provider has her back to the problem, yet little is done.

Where are we…?

One of the greatest abolitionist in U.S. History – Frederick Douglass, wrote in his 1845 autobiography book (Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, An American Slave) witnessed a whipping from a slave master to his aunt.

[. . . ]
Aunt Hester went out one night,—where or for what I do not know,—and happened to be absent when my master desired her presence. He had ordered her not to go out evenings, and warned her that she must never let him catch her in company with a young man, who was paying attention to her belonging to Colonel Lloyd. The young man’s name was Ned Roberts, generally called Lloyd’s Ned. Why master was so careful of her, may be safely left to conjecture. She was a woman of noble form, and of graceful proportions, having very few equals, and fewer superiors, in personal appearance, among the colored or white women of our neighborhood.

Aunt Hester had not only disobeyed his orders in going out, but had been found in company with Lloyd’s Ned; which circumstance, I found, from what he said while whipping her, was the chief offence. Had he been a man of pure morals himself, he might have been thought interested in protecting the innocence of my aunt; but those who knew him will not suspect him of any such virtue. Before he commenced whipping Aunt Hester, he took her into the kitchen, and stripped her from neck to waist, leaving her neck, shoulders, and back, entirely naked. He then told her to cross her hands, calling her at the same time a d——d b—-h. After crossing her hands, he tied them with a strong rope, and led her to a stool under a large hook in the joist, put in for the purpose. He made her get upon the stool, and tied her hands to the hook. She now stood fair for his infernal purpose. Her arms were stretched up at their full length, so that she stood upon the ends of her toes. He then said to her, “Now, you d——d b—-h, I’ll learn you how to disobey my orders!” and after rolling up his sleeves, he commenced to lay on the heavy cowskin, and soon the warm, red blood (amid heart-rending shrieks from her, and horrid oaths from him) came dripping to the floor. I was so terrified and horror-stricken at the sight, that I hid myself in a closet, and dared not venture out till long after the bloody transaction was over. I expected it would be my turn next. It was all new to me. I had never seen anything like it before. I had always lived with my grandmother on the outskirts of the plantation, where she was put to raise the children of the younger women. I had therefore been, until now, out of the way of the bloody scenes that often occurred on the plantation. [. . . ]

Sadly some hundred and fifty years later, senseless whipping of another being is inhuman and unacceptable.  The unsettling ideal of watching this clip and listening to these thugs taunt and whip this teen (who is of the same race) makes me ill.

Where are we…?

If you ever felt discomforted by these recent stories about the future generation, please take action.  If you’re doing something already, I salute you!  There are a myriad of young-related organizations in your neighborhood.  Our children need us!  Where are we?  Our response should be: We’re here to help young man or young lady.

Lets go people and do some good!

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A New Makeover! – Winter 2013

Have you ever received a “regret” letter from a company you wanted to work for?  Have you been rejected by someone you wanted to date?  How about being turned down to qualify for a home mortgage loan?  For those of you who are at least 25 years old, I can guarantee you that most of us have had this experience in our lives.

Rejection is hard…but for a few of us, rejection can be difficult to overcome.  International Country Star Singer Taylor Swift said this about rejection and I quote “You have people come into your life shockingly and surprisingly.  You have losses that you never thought you’d experience.  You have rejection and you have to learn how to deal with that and how to get up the next day and go on with it.” end quote.

As our national economy continues to rebound from a low inventory of good jobs, millions of unemployed workers struggle to maintain a positive outlook on their career.  For 13 months, I was a bona-fide member of the national jobless club.  Though I did not feel proud about this period of my life, I enjoyed some of the club’s perks:

  • I was able to opt out of the all-inclusive morning and evening city rush hours
  • It allowed me to enjoy the pleasures of cooking at home – which was therapeutic to me
  • I could truly enjoy my mornings without feeling rushed
  • I could read books that I purchased over the years but hadn’t made time to read them
  • I experienced the balance of indoor exercising and outdoor walking

Yet still, I along with millions of other unemployed adults burned the midnight oil to search for a job that secures us the privilege to live in a descent home and provide basic needs for our families.  How do we keep our momentum going after receiving many rejection letters?  For me, I relied on a higher power to siphon a form of positive strength.  And through this strength, I discovered three steps to use and for some of you, I hope this will deactivate your jobless membership status.

The Recruitment Process – Employers are always looking for what they need from an individual who holds the right skill set of the position.  They are also relying on personal connections, social networking websites, and someone that ‘fits’ their particular corporate culture.

The Reaction Process – The way you react to a job interview is important!  I’m not talking about how you express your excitement about receiving an interview, but to handle your response in a professional way – before and after the interview process.  You should study the interviewer for the meeting.  The best way is to know the interviewer is to search the person on Linked In and collect basic information.  Say the person “like” Starbucks on his/her social network webpage.  After the meeting, you can send a ‘Thank-You’ note to the interview and enclose a Starbucks gift card in the attempt to secure a second interview.

The Re-entry or Re-emerge Process – Once you’ve been offered the position, you feel excited and ready to go.  But you’ve been weathered, emotionally bruised for a period of time – depending on the gap of time you’ve been unemployed.  Imagine yourself on the first day of the job and you introduce yourself to the new team.  Everybody will want to know what you’ve done before coming to the job.  Whether you may or may not know it, some of us will continue to wear this woe-is-me on our face and use it like a weekly church sermon.  Get rid of it!  It’s a chapter now closed – look ahead!

I believe this three stage process will give you the confidence for a new makeover!