Relationships

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Pressing On!

It’s not unusual to find yourself in a conversation with someone who spends much of their time talking about past issues and then concludes the talk by say “I’m just going to press on!”  When you happened to meet that same person again, they will resurface the same ole past issue.  And as they continue to mouth off their frustration with no ending in sight, your brain neutrons are scampering to form the question – “I thought you said you’re pressing on?”

In these situations, it may be hard to resolve the ‘past’ issues before you can press on.  It is those past issues that will:

  • Prevent you from truly ‘moving forward’
  • Eventually resurface into a larger problem
  • Delay any progress in fulfilling your passion in life

How can one deal with ‘past issues?’  The answer is simple: ANSWER IT!  There is usually a word that typifies the issue.  For example, let’s say you were involved in a bad relationship and you don’t know how to get past the issue.  The goal is to remove yourself from the situation and ‘press on.’  You might say, we’ll just leave the relationship – most will do that.

However, the odds at keeping a positive new relationship will falter because of dealing with similar issues that may be that of past relationships.

I discovered a way to deal with ‘past’ issues properly, first:

  • Identify the problem within the relationship
  • Come to (self) terms of the problem
  • Learn and discover why the problem persisted
  • Embrace and utilize tools to heal from the problem
  • Develop a plan to “press on”

Identifying the problem and addressing them may take some time to complete.  But the process is one that give you satisfaction and redirection to fulfill your passion.

Your passion to help others may be found in the example of your past!

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Are You a Pioneer or Settler?

Several years ago this question sparked instant reaction during an evening church revival in suburban Atlanta.  The emotionally stirred inquiry was in fact the sermon topic prepared by Minister Ben Lang of Cornerstone Baptist Church.  Minister Lang with a thunderously pitch defined the word “pioneers” as a group of adventurous trailblazers who’ll discover a new region to enjoy and make a way for others.  He then downplayed the word “settlers” in a dull-monotone voice… a group of people simply occupying a new country or specific area.  That’s IT for the settlers…to simply occupy a specific area.

The main point of the sermon was to motivate and ignite the audience to use their God-given abilities.  Years later, I still remember key elements of that sermon.  Here goes…

A Settler’s Mentality

We were made in His image – His creative design was for us to serve and worship Him.  He has given us unique gifting abilities to use.  And these explorative gifts propel us to create constructive ideas and innovation that could be beneficial for others.  Sadly, some of our dear friends may never launch their pioneer-game planning ideas.  Instead, they remain comfortable where they are; never having the desire to launch out on their ideas and thus becoming a settler.  Just the other day, I passed through an apartment complex that probably contains – let say – 30 units.  What struck me was the image of multiple satellite dishes mounted at each apartment unit – appearing to look like a string of humongous grey ornamented Christmas lights perfectly aligned near the roof of each unit.  I began to methodically calculate the hours each home would spend watching television.  After coming up with my own hypothesis, I then said to myself…”if one had all that time to watch television, could that same amount of time be spent doing something more productive?”  This could also be said of those watching television in suburban homes too!

South African anti-apartheid revolutionary and former politician Nelson Mandela said “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

A Pioneer’s Mentality

As I said early, God made us in His image and has gifted us with ability to further empower ourselves and those around us.  Pioneers know just how to get the job done even if their goals resulted in success or failure.  The qualities of these individuals are striking:

1)      They are continuous learners and are very creative

2)      They are interested in human development and studying psychosocial theories

3)      They often challenge and critique themselves

4)      They quest for resolutions and achievements

5)      They enjoy new opportunities and study different cultures

Individuals with a desire to ‘change the way we live’ spend an enormous amount of time in isolation.  That isolation prevents them from becoming too settled in their ways.

The late three-time Formula One World Champion Ayrton Senna said this: “I continuously go further and further learning about my own limitations, my body limitation, psychological limitations.  It’s a way of life for me.”

So often these days, I question myself – Am I a Pioneer or Settler?  Do I find myself like a pool of stagnated water with no signs of rippled movement in my life?  Or do I need to re-evaluate the things I’m gifted to do in life?  Whatever the case, the road to your purpose in life requires some investigating.

Let’s go people and do some good!

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Reconstructing Your Wound to Find Your Wholeness

For some folks, finding and discovering the purpose in your life may be easy and self-rewarding. With effective child rearing and reinforced support systems, a young person could set their goals beyond the stratosphere of success!

But for those who haven’t discovered their purpose just yet, life situations from the past could keep individuals from moving into their true destination. Those life situations may stem from unwanted hurts, broken promises, unforgiving people, etc. Without professional counseling or family intervention, some wounds left untreated may haunt a person for a lifetime. And the reoccurring scabs of those wounds can prevent a person from become whole once more.

Fortunately there are people who are determined to become whole again. I believe being whole again gives you a sense of rejuvenation. Once you find the center of being whole, the navigation and directional compass for your life becomes clearer and the challenge of developing your purpose becomes even stronger.

I recently watched a video clip that features a well-known urban rapper called DMX. Now in his 40s, this very troubled/complex individual was looking to ‘fix’ his life with the help of an acclaimed empowerment legend – Iyanla Vanzart. The entire video clip is 90 minutes long – shocking, powerful, uncut and very intense. I encourage you to watch this without any distractions! The ending of it is disturbing for the rapper, BUT for his eldest child Xavier played throughout the video, he will eventually find his wholeness.

After you watched the clip, do a self-examination of yourself. Do you have relationships that need mending? Are you ready to examine that wound you left untreated and plan for surgery to remove the anger, hurt, and outrage still embedded in the wound? Are you ready to unlock the door of heartbreak so that you can walk into your life’s purpose? If so, be ready to become whole again! Start now!

Let’s go people and do some good!